Monday, January 9, 2012

The Bet


So 2012 is upon us. It's amazing just how quickly 2011 flew by. For those of you just joining me, hello and welcome, and for those of you who have already been following along, welcome back. This year has already started off with a bang and no, I'm not referring to my quest to beat all the Legend of Zelda games (although that quest is still on going). No, I'm referring to probably one of the dumbest bets I've ever taken (although I'm sure someone out there could argue that point).

You see, every year in the month of January, men from all over the country, nay, all over the world, in an act of defiance refuse to trim any hair on their face or head in an act dubbed as Manuary. Unfortunately, my current status in the military currently prevents me from participating completely (in other words, no beards) but I, as well as others, play along the best we can... With mustaches, or at least a close facsimile. Because, well... You see the thing is, I as well as a great number of guys my age for one reason or another, maybe genetics maybe Mountain Dew consumption (did you hear that stuff can melt a mouse?) cannot grow true Selleck staches and instead look like a pre-teen who may or may not wear a jean jacket and hand out smokes on the playground. But what we lack in Magnum status we make up in heart and every year from Manuary 1st to Manuary 31st we let our facial hair grow, no matter how ridiculous, and suffer together for a month of manliness. That is until this year. Maybe we can blame it on the Aztecs but 2012 has become not just the end of the world but also the end of self-respect as I know it. Why you ask? Because of 12 simple words... “I bet you 100 bucks that you will shave before I do”. And with a handshake my fate, as well as the fate of two others, was sealed. That's right, if I shave off my ridiculous stashe before the other two involved in the bet not only will I lose my manly status (as if that was something in question) I will lose my shot at wining $200 and $100 of my own. "Come on," you might say. "Just how bad could it be?"

MANUARY MUGSHOT  '11

Satisfied? I warned you, it's not too pretty. Once the bet really started and I could no longer shave, I looked back at that beauty and remembered just how much not shaving for thirty-one days sucked let alone the twelve grueling months that I'm sure this contest will drag out. The upside? Well, I look really good in a “Members Only” jacket and thick tortoise glasses and behind the wheel of an oversized rapist van. Upside? Are you kidding me? There is no upside. Matter of fact, I think the only reason I'm sharing this here is so I can’t back out the minute this foul month is over, just like when I tried the Reboot and put it on the net so I could stick through it (read about that here). Once I commit it here, it's a commitment that I cannot take back and I figure between reading about Human Centipedes and Adventures of Link maybe you'd like to take a glimpse into some of the real self-imposed humiliation that I call my life. I mean, it should at least be good for a laugh, right? RIGHT?


So please follow along on this mustache ride (see what I did there?) as well as more Legend of Zelda updates and yeah I think 2012 might just bring out some of the stories I've been wanting to tell but wasn't yet sure about sharing. I mean what the hell, we're all family now, cyber friends, time filler when you're using the john? Whatever we are, I hope I can continue to keep you entertained as we move even closer to the impending Apocalypse. So read on for my further adventures and feel free to subscribe if you like what you see.

Cheers and here’s to a... Well an interesting year!